And Thus Began His Tale
by videogameandanime-empress
Summary: Ever wondered what it would be like if Tamahome were the priestess of Suzaku? Well now you can find out! A chapter by chapter parody of the entire part one of FY, following Tamahome's tale. He'll experience EVERYTHING Miaka does in FY. 76 chapters to go.


**(A/N) So, the other night I reread the entire Fushigi Yuugi series... again. And I thought, there should be a fanfic where Tamahome get's to be the priestess. And here we are. -smiles- This should be roughly seventy eight chapters long, each chapter will equal about chapter in the series. (I'm only planning on parodying part one) I know that's insane for someone whose never written anything longer than ten chapters, but this will be enjoyable and relatively easy to write.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, or any of it's characters. I am however, the proud owner of this parody.**

**Chapter One: The Universe of the Four Gods**

_"Hey look, MONEY!" Tamahome leaped over to grab the floating coins. "Hehehehehe... MINE!"_

_"No, no Tamahome... You must study..." a booming voice echoed "You must study for your entrance exams."_

_The faces of his teachers, and mother haunted him as they spoke. "No time for earning money." "You must get into Jonan." "Money is unimportant to you, grades are all that matter."_

_"N-no.." he stuttered._

"NO! MY MONEY MINE! GIVE IT BA-" the boy opened his eyes to see his teacher laying on the ground after being pounded by the desk Tamahome had grabbed.

He blinked. "Uh... oops.."

- - -

"Geez Tamahome, you can't be drifting off during class like that. What was with the yelling anyway?" his friends scolded him. "Yeah really, we've got exams coming up."

"I was up late last night studying..." he took a bite of his burger "and counting my money.." he added grinning.

"Hey you're trying to get into Yotsubadai, right?"

"Well actually.." he turned and pointed at some passing students.

"The school with that uniform?!" "That's Jonan! The best school in the city! What're you thinking?!" "Why didn't you tell Yui? She's going for Jonan too!" they screamed as they got in his face.

"Well it's obvious," Yui interrupted, "I'm the genius and he's an idiot."

"Gee, way to act like a friend!" Tamahome said sarcastically as he glared. "I gotta go."

"Wait Tama, can I have some money for another burger?" "Yeah, sure, here." He tossed her some money and left.

"Did he just give away money without crying?"

- - -

"You were chased by demons after your money?" Yui asked curiously.

"Yeah something like that.." he flipped through the pages of a book "maybe all this studying is giving me the nitemares."

"You really should tone it down a bit. Even if you are just trying to please your mom." she said sternly.

"Yeah I know.." he said with a sigh dropping his pencil. Chasing down the rolling pencil he stopped and looked up to see an open door in front of him.

"Cram school is starting soon... huh? What's this room?" Yui said following him inside. "Wow... look at all these rare books.."

"Hey look at this." Tamahome opened a book. "The universe of the four gods.. what the hell?"

Their eyes scanned the pages as they read: Herein contains the tale of a young lady and her quest to gather the seven constellations of Suzaku together. And if you, the esteemed reader, should read to the story's end the spell contained in this book shall bestow upon you the powers of the heroine and grant you your wish. For indeed the moment the page is turned, the story will become reality.

"Seriously?! A wish for just reading a book?" Tamahome exclaimed, "I could be the richest man on earth!"

"You actually buy this crap? It's so lame-" a rumbling earthquake cut her off, followed by a bright red light.

"Is it over?" Tamahome sat up after being knocked off his feet by the shaking. However, instead of opening his eyes to the library he found himself in an outdoor setting he didn't recognize.

"Uh Tamahome..." Yui asked "where are we?"

"Damned if I know.." he looked around. "Does this hurt?" She punched him in the gut. "Well DUH! Of course it does!" he yelled. "Oh great now we're lost! I bet the second Keisuke finds out I'm gone he's gonna steal my money!"

"Think about something other than money for once!" Yui yelled, and was suddenly grabbed from behind. "AIIIEEE!" she screamed.

"Yui!" Tamahome turned and saw a man pick her up. "She's a jewel." said the man holding her. "We'll make a killing off her." said his partner. "Who the hell..."

Tamahome pulled the man off Yui and shoved him away. "Yui! Run!" he punched the other man in the face. "Stupid boy!" They started hitting Tamahome, he fought back as best he could. "I said RUN! Yui!"

Suddenly a girl grabbed the man by the wrist. "Stop it!" she demanded.

"Shut up stupid gi-" she pulled his arm backwards. Snap! "AARRRG! My arm, you broke my arm!" "Let's get out of here!" his friend said at they took off.

"You okay," she turned and looked at Tamahome and Yui. "Skip the thanks, I'm starving. Got any food?"

"Eh?!" They said in unison.

"Aw come on I'm hungry... whatever I'm out of here. I need food!" she ran off.

"We didn't need help anyway!" Tamahome yelled after her.

"Gah! Another earthquake!" Yui shrieked, and the light again consumed them and they found themselves back in the library. "Crap, I'm late for cram school!"

The door swung open, "Can't you read! Do not enter means something you know!"

"Sorry!"

- - -

"Alright you have two months till your entrance exams! This is where the going gets tough. Will you be laughing or crying this spring? It's all decided here!" the teacher rambled.

_That was so wierd..._ Tamahome thought _...a hallucination? That we both had..?_ "Tamahome!" the teacher dragged him out of his thought. "You have no chance of getting into Jonan as it is, day dreaming is just going to make it worse! These exams are war-" "Kill or be killed." Tamahome rolled his eyes, "I get it."

The teacher glared, and as he turned around Tamahome glared back, flipping him off.

- - -

"Ten... twenty... thirty..." "Can't you count your money somewhere other than the dinner table?" Tamahome's older brother took another bite of his food.

"Hey Keisuke," Tamahome asked "you study chinese philosophy right? The universe of the four gods, ever heard of it?"

"No," he replied "but I have heard of the four gods."

"Oh, well at the library-" his mother cut him off. "You're scores are in from your last test." Tamahome started choking on his water. "You're doing better but not good enough for Jonan."

"Well actually.." he started. She interrupted "I know you'll do good for me won't you?" "Hahaha sure mom, whatever makes you happy."

- - -

_Such a fine young man... you make me so proud... _his mothers words echoed in his mind.

"I should finish up this diary entry...wait... why do I have a diary? Oh whatever I'll worry about that later. Let's see, found a strange book and then..." images of the young woman he'd seen flashed in his mind. "She had the character for food written on her forehead. She was kinda cute...but all she could think about was food... hm... I wonder if she has a boyfriend.." he grinned and imagined her again.

"Uh Tamahome, I brought a snack..." his mother gave him a strange look after noting his bizzare expression.

_Oops, gotta get back to studying!_ he thought as he scribbled down the last sentence in his entry.

- - -

"Hey Tamahome, wanna go back to the library again?" Yui asked.

"I'd like to, but can't. There's a test in cram school."

He looked around as he walked down the street. _Geez, _he thought_ there are couples everywhere. I can't believe I've never even had a girlfriend. I'm fifteen for crying outloud. _

Something caught his eye.. "Mom?!" he saw his mother walking arm in arm with a man.

- - -

_All through cram school all I could think about was mom and that guy... her lover maybe? So wierd... _"I'm home!" he closed the door behind him.

"Tamahome!" his mother yelled at him "Where have you been? I've been worried sick!"

"Wha..."

"You're seeing some girl aren't you!?" she dragged him into his room and pointed at his open diary. "You read my diary?!" he gasped, feeling violated. "How could you?!"

"You're a junior high student, you shouldn't be running off with some girl! I bet you didn't even GO to cram school tonight! Why don't you listen to me for once! Think of my reputation here!"

"I don't even want to go to Jonan!" Tamahome raised his voice "I'm sick of doing everything you want!" Smack! She slapped him across the face.

"Besides.." he mumbled "so what if I meet some girl. You're with some man yourself! Don't criticize me!" he raced off.

"I'm home!" Keisuke entered the house and Tamahome shoved him out of the way.

_I'm sick of studying..._ he kept running_, that's all I do. I've had enough. All I've cared about is making my family happy and I so sick and tired of it!_

"How did I end up..." he was in the room in the library, "here."

He grabbed the universe of the four gods and began reading it. "I get a wish. Yeah right, as if that's believable... but the book is interesting so I may as well read it... I wish all my problems would go away... I wish I had a sexy girlfriend.." he closed his eyes and the girl from the previous day appeared in his mind.

"God, why do I keep thinking of _her_?" he asked himself. Suddenly, he noticed the word on the page: A beautiful young woman with the character for food upon her forehead appeared...

"What?! But this is from... my dream...?" The red light flashed again and soon only the book lay on the floor of the room.

And thus the young lady... er... man of legends opened the door to another world, and likewise began our tale.

**(A/N) So what did you think? The first chapter was a bit uneventful but it shall get better. Just think of what it'll be like when Hotohori falls in love with the priestess. Hehehe. -smiles- Anyway, this fanfic will be incredibly long and I doubt anyone will continue with it through the whole thing, but I would appreciate reviews. The plot will shift slightly away from the original Fushigi Yuugi as it progresses, so don't worry about that.**


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